I wish i spoke french

Let it be known that lady courtney munchkin bear of victoria, has made it on to the high score list for tetris at around 1:28am this night on the 19th of march 2009 : D

Good job baby, im proud of you, you have been working hard for that

and she did it all on level 88! her score was 1,221,054 and shes number 102, but really those score boards dont know what theyre talking about cause shes number 1 !



also ive been meaning to come update this thing but just havnt been feeling like it.

Courtney came here in february and theres so much to write about, i think maybe thats why i havnt done it yet, because we did so many things, and there are so many things to describe and talk about that its a bit overwhelming to just say "ok, im going to write down all of it".

but ill do it soon.

shes also moving here in a couple of weeks and i cant wait.

cheers,

sprout

I'm on my way to seattle.

Courtney left yesterday morning, i dont think i can even write about her stay here yet, its still so fresh and I'm still a bit overwhelmed.

But she's in seattle right now because her flight to victoria was canceled yesterday.

I'm going to put my tristan prettyman cd on and take a shower.

i love how she left a lot of her clothes here because she didnt have time to pack them, i get to smell all of them.
And no, thats not weird at all!

My foot is numb from the way i am sitting.I hope my flight doesnt get canceled tonight, its said to have a snow storm here tonight

Ive been working in my room and i havnt gotten anywhere really. i have a lot to work on still and a while ago i put up balloons and this pink paper and it kind of looks like something threw up. Im hoping that when im done it will all come together nicely, i still have a lot to do and im feeling good about it.



orangeade...the stuff of not so champion room cleaners, highly recomended by hula santa

this is one of my favourite movies. i cant wait to put courtney through however many minutes long it is, haha i even know the songs.

but behold!, big foot

French girl names

aimee
alice
amelie
anais
agnes
aurore
brigitte
camille
charlotte *already on the list, but i like putting it on any list anyway
corinne
emilie
hortense
isabelle
julie
josephine
juliette
laurence
madeleine
margaux
oceane
olivie
penelope
sophie
valentine
zoe
tristan *already kinda on the list

french boy names
auguste *already on the list
benoit
francis
julien
jules
laurent
luc
olivier
remy
vincent
zacharie

In other news.

Courtney will be here in 2 days now. We had to reschedule the flight for friday night. It gives me a little more time to clean up my room, heh. I emailed the limo place to reschedule to friday too but my mom called for me, that was unexpectedly nice of her.

Its now time for stupid embarrassing comments from alana. Todays stupid or embarrasing comment was provided by mom, the toughtest of the toughs, now available in im so mad red, and i cough everywhere green, get them while you can!

so yeah, my mom wants me to "shower" before courtney gets here so she got me like 4 different sponges and stuff to scrub a dub with. One of them though is one of those sea sponges, and today in the shower, i realized something frightening -- I am fucking unbelievably scared of those things!!! Like no joke, i dont even know if the one i have is fake or an actual sea sponge, i dont know what they eat, i dont know how they move, i dont know if they are animals or just like, alive in the tree sense, but dudes, they scare me. I was holding it and its so freaky, all the little holes everywhere...i kept expecting a fish to pop out of it. And then i would squish it up and it would suddenly get all big again in my hands and that gave me shivers, bad shivers. Then what really drove me over the edge was when i thought, holy shit, this used to be a living thing, thats when i dropped it on the tub floor, because i have this thing where i would be really scared to pick up or touch anything that was once alive, but then i picked it up again and realized it kind of looked like a fish shape and that scared me too.

but the moral of this short, odd story is that...YOU SHOULD GET MOM!!! NOW AVAILABLE IN RED AND GREEN, GET IT NOW!

haha

well yeah, thats been my day so far. courtney and i had a little bit of setbacks but honestly its those kind of setbacks that seem like setbacks while you are going through them but afterwards you realize you just gained a lot and didnt go backwards. Even with our smallest fights i think we always learn somethign and that makes me so happy, its a relief that we arent just argueing and getting nothing out of it, and maybe in 5 years or in 1 year, these fights wont be nearly as prominent. They arent that much now, but they are still there, but it feels good that we are just bettering us as a couple. I love her so much.

Now its food time though so im going to go get mine

later gators

It's not even summer and my ass is sticking to the plastic my mom puts on all the furniture. It happened today while i was on the phone with courtney and flipping through surfer mag. And seeing as though i'll be staying here for a while, the plastic attacks are bound to get on the rise. If i wasnt such a bum then i might be able to work past them but its like i wear shorts everyother day, this morning when it happened i was in my undies though so no more walking around in those.

i just got a huge sudden urge to eat pork n beans lol.

this morning i will have a lot to do. i dont know if im going to the gym, or if ill have time, but ill need to go get some stuff i still need.

i had more to say but i forgot.

oh right, i was going to post a bunch of french names i wanted to remember but i have the page open so ill do it tomorrow

I'm in the process of cleaning/rearranging my room. So far ive actually been productive and in the zone...okay, that last parts a lie. I keep stopping because my feet hurt, i stopped because i needed to pee, i stopped because courtney called and that lead to stopping for another reason, know what i mean ; ). Obviously i stopped now too because i'm on the computer, but i was around the living room and decided to come on my laptop real quick to say hi to my baby, and well, almost half an hour later lol. I think its more than half an hour.

She was sending me pictures a couple of minutes ago and i kind of feel bad for saying i am so lucky. I mean, i am lucky - very lucky - but i shouldn't say it only when i see her. I think i do say it in general, no matter what she does. When she giggles because of a silly joke, when she talks to me in that voice thats just laced with love, and when she sighs at my...not so normal, comments, like yesterday morning when i told her it felt good to poo. I told my mom about that as part of our return from gym car conversations and she was just like *gasp* you dont say that!?, in that are you crazy/whats wrong with you/why would you talk about that to her, voice, and after it all i just sit back and smile because i do talk to her about that stuff, and whatever else. I don't know what most couples talk about or don't talk about, some probably share a lot and others don't, but i think any serious couple share more than expected.

Courtney. says:

hah i washed youre sweater finally and it still smells like your moms laundry soap

haha, oh how i love her.

well thats my post for today, even though its 1:19 am, i started this at about 12:20. I am really slow.

So on the 12th courtney will be on her way here.

At around 12:57pm, she will be stepping out through the gates, and i'll be standing there waiting for her.

I have a few things im going to get ready for when we meet but i cant say on here or she will read it and i dont want her knowing yet.

I really think i have to start a new rule that i have to post at least one tiny entry a day, i think its better that way, so i dont lose touch.

So i rented a lincoln town car to pick me up at my house and then take me to the airport so i can pick her up, that way my mom wont have to drive us and make it awkward. Courtney had this thing where she asked me to go in my pj's, she wanted me as comfortable as possible, like snuggle ready, and im still building up the guts to go out in public wearing my christmas tree pj's, but ill have to be ready in the next 2 days. I think i can do it. I also think thats just tough talk and that i need all the convincing i can to pull this one off.

im tired, i always start writing these and finish 4 hours later. its 2 am.

ive eaten way to many sweet bread and butter pickle chips and i need water.

and dont forget, candy is dandy but fruit makes you poo!

This is from last week, i can't remember the date but i never posted it cause i needed to restart my computer and i lost what i had written.


I got another package in the mail today :). I had 3 of my favourite things in a row. I talked to courtney, took a shower, got a package. Her voice makes things better, and i've found that showering right after i talk to her on the phone is a really good thing, it makes my showers so much more fun and light. When i got out of the shower though and walked to the living room and saw that small packet lying on the couch, i couldn't help but squeel a bit. My bath robe almost opened. I wish i could put up some pictures i took of all the things she sent me. I love looking at her writing, noticing the small things she probably has no clue she does, like how she wrote everything on the packet in script except for my name that she wrote in cursive. Sometimes i wake up and wonder if certain conversations we had before i slept, actually happened or not, and sometimes i wonder if I'm not just in the middle of a really long, beautiful dream. Getting the package kind of wakes me up a bit, but then i still have that thought in the back of my mind telling me the packages and everything inside of them are all part of this dream that i never seem to wake up from.

"If you be my star
I'll be your sky
you can hide underneath me and come out at night
when I turn jet black and you show off your light
I live to let you shine
I live to let you shine

but you can skyrocket away from me
and never come back if you find another galaxy
far from here with more room to fly
just leave me your stardust to remember you by

if you be my boat
I'll be your sea
a depth of pure blue just to probe curiosity
ebbing and flowing and pushed by a breeze
I live to make you free
I live to make you free

but you can set sail to the west if you want to
and past the horizon till I can't even see you
far from here where the beaches are wide
just leave me your wake to remember you by........."

I'm going to take a shower, but i was going to write. I have to stop being lazy and start writing again, there are so many things that i haven't written about that i wish i had. Maybe after the shower I can write some things.

We talked with each other about each other
Though neither of us spoke -

I think that's how our little moments are. When she and I both go silent, it's like we are still talking. I was going to tell her today that our last little moment made me feel like somehow there might just be a string or tube connecting both our hearts, and those minutes of quiet where we speak without words are our hearts talking. Like those string and toilet paper roll telephones kids used to make when i was younger. I know that those don't work but, i think my heart has too much love for her to not come up with its own form of communication.


Quiet Thrills -

* How I'm her monkey and i don't even think she's noticed that that's the only name that has stuck

* When she says i love you in that tone that gives meaning to the word love

* Her knowledge of bread

* How she hates what i eat and can't wait to feed me and go grocery shopping

* Whispering with her when there's no need to whisper

* Still getting over excited for episodes of south of nowhere that are never really as good as you always hope

* Cuddling up with atticus and how amazing she is for getting me the perfect little dog

* Imagining all the small things I'm dying...living, to do for her

* How she can kiss me from so far away

* How she can hold me from so far away

* Reading her her favourite childrens book when she was having trouble sleeping and her falling asleep right after i finished

* Reruns of Clueless

* The feeling of knowing you can spend forever with the same person

* Cute pop songs that help reassure you that everything will be okay when shes not there to do it "stay my baby" - miranda cosgrove

* Forehead dog bites

* How shes a champagne and I'm beer, but she still sees something in me

* How i can't wait to open winnie the poo halloween dvd

* Her clumsyness and how she laughs when she falls

It's been a long long time.

So long that i kind of didn't want to come back.

I just feel like there are so many emotions knocking on the door to my fingers that i can't figure out which one to let in first.

I got my first hand written, mail posted letter ever yesterday. All the way from australia. I've read it twice, but i don't want to keep taking it out of the envelope because i am so scared that i will get it wet, or ripped, or....fucking blown away!? Who knows! I just don't want anything to happen to it, ever.

Other than that. I've just been a whole mix of fustrated/calm/tired/excited. Nothing that has been going on has really had anything to do with me. Well i don't know how to explain. But I'm fine with everything the way it is and has been going, just a few minor details i would like to change.

I have cramps though. But I went all of last night in this calm, peaceful, mellow state, i didn't even notice any cramp pain, it's funny how certain people can effect you.

But I'm still in major need of a blanky, chocolate, and romantic comedy movie.

I'm sick of coming on here and talking about why girls suck. Maybe i just complicate things way too far. But I am so tired of thinking. I need my brain to relax, give me some time where it doesn't fall for every girl that rounds the corner. Brain stop thinking love is so amazing and unstoppable that you can meet someone half across the country or the world and live that story book romance with them. Your. life. is. not. the notebook, or a fucking walk to remember. Get over yourself. Please just make things easier for your self and quit thinking so much, begging whoevers watching up there to put her in front of you. Maybe you just need to stop asking for her and go on with your life. It's like when you lose something and try finding it, sometimes you can't find it until you decide to stop looking. I know you want to find the one now, but all this stress and contemplation, won't get you anywhere, they won't be if they aren't. You might find her surfing in oahu next year, on a soccer field with friends, next week, or three mornings from now, just please stop trying to figure it out. It doesn't matter how much her voice makes you feel peaceful, how pretty she is, how comfortable you feel talking to her, let things play out. Think back to every single thing you've ever wanted, and remember how long it's taken for you to get it. Nothing ever came so easily to you, you're always fighting for them. That doesn't mean I'm saying you should fight for this, but in the end of the day you know that love is usually something that just happens, that you don't have to think about so much. That you don't keep questioning but that you feel with every inch of you and don't even realize it. You need to go to bed now cause it's already 4am and today is already saturday, and you know what that means. Just be happy that at least something nice happened today, and she knows who she is :).

Quite Thrills

The creeping feel of winter in the late august jersey air.
Waking up at 6am during the summer.
Scrubs marathons. 
How wonderful the internet is.
Simple insight. 
Big, soft, nice smelling body pillows.
Blasting out the arctic monkeys while you shower. 
Hawaiian hotels, and hotels in general.
That scary feeling in your stomach when you realize you've fallen for someone special.
That scary feeling in your stomach you had never felt before, that makes things even more scary because you can feel how new and different it is.

Brazil lost to the USWNT. I don't even want to talk about it because there's no reason carli should have scored that goal, no one was covering, and brazil has one of the best defenses ever. It was a good game no doubt, but i can't say we played better than the uswnt because even though we had ball control, managed to still use our brazilian style despite being both pressured and insanely covered, we didn't do anything about it. Brazil is the better team, they just didn't play the better game. Nor did the uswnt btw. They weren't making good passes, their defense was a mess, they were pretty much fumbling back and forth. Amy Rodriguez runs down the line with the ball and it will only take one brazilian player to clear the ball away from her. Now Marta or Cristiane...or any of the brazilian players, go near the box, it's like a swarm of uswnt girls surround them, and they still can't stop them. My grammy got so mad at how tightly covered we were. It was like 4 girls on whomever had the ball. Can you imagine how hard it is to try scoring with a wall of girls in front of you, and pretty much circling you, and yet Marta and the girls would still find ways to break them all. This was one of those games where things just weren't connecting. And you had to watch to understand how good and fustrating it was. My grammy doesn't even really like soccer, sure as hell doesn't understand it, and never really cheers or gets angry like most people do, yet this game had her jumping up from her chair, making not so nice comments about them...grammy was upset lol. And i don't blame her because you don't get much more lucky than the uswnt, to like, win 1-0, in the 30 minutes added time, by a mistake from the team that didn't let you take any dangerous shots practically all game. So it was brazils fault all the way, we fucked up for that one moment and you can't do that when carli lloyd is around, you can't do that in a final game point blank. And the other mistake was poor finishing. Granted, we didn't have much room to work with, but like my gramps says "if a team has many scoring chances and they don't score on any of them, they obviously aren't playing well". After the game i asked my grammy if she'd be cool with me playing for the uswnt, turns out she wouldn't root for me lol. I think i might be over the girl that broke my heart. It still hurts thinking about what she did, and how she lied so much, i think i've written on here how i hate being vulnerable, and i let her in, and she broke me down. People think because I'm so bubbly and friendly sometimes, always smiling, cracking jokes, being an idiot, that i don't have a guard put up. But i do. They also don't realize how sensitive i am. Even my best friend Junior doesn't always get passed my guard, i have things i don't tell him sometimes, but he has passed my trust test. The one where i act like a complete jerk sometimes, go weeks without calling or answering calls, and really test how much i can trust you to be there for me at the end of it all. Though with junior he passed the test just by being my best friend over the years, i've known him since i was a kid, so it's not like i had to put the test on him cause he just passed it along the way. He knows where to tickle me, how to bother me, when to stop being a kid and act like an adult if he sees there's something wrong with me. I love him. I wouldn't trade him for the world. But i want more people that mean that much in my life you know. At least one more. One more person that reaches that level of friendship and family with me. It's really easy, just be trust worthy, and not one of those people that just want to use me. And in me you'll find the most understanding and open friend you can have. I'm one of those people that will completely take you under their wing, haha I'm always joking about how if you're my friend, like someone i really care about, anyone who messes with you better be careful because I'm kinda really protective of the people i love. There's one little munchkin i really care about that has me really worried right now. She always has me worried, but right now it's even worse. I need her to be okay.

alright, I'm going to go watch mens volleyball finals, us and brazil. maybe we can actually win this one : /

 MY GRAMMY'S BACK!


That's how i was going to write that at first, but now after 30 minutes of one on one grammy time, it's more like *insert tired dronish voice* MY GRAMMY'S BACK..... Lol It's like i've fallen into this washing machine of talk. 

So I'm dream diving, or in other words sleeping lol, and feel someone tap on my back, i turn around and open my eyes and there she is. Grammy dearest. I get up, go give her a hug, she gives me the head to toe look. Then we go to the dining room and she gives me all the little gifts people in brazil send with her for me. These are people i havn't seen in 4, 8, and some even longer years, yet they all still send me stuff. When i said i was the towns little princess lmao, i wasn't joking. This is why when i go there, i have to make my rounds around town visiting all the people that have known me since i was born. It's cute though cause the gifts are little things that you know mean a lot because they got it for you all excitedly, hoping you're going to love it. Like examples: I got this little box of soap from one of my grammy's friends, she put these orchid stickers on the outside of the box, but they're not stickers, you have to like put them on...basically it's like something you'd find on the martha stewart show, and inside there are little ballerina soaps that smell sooo good, it's sweet, and she makes the soap too. Though haha, ever since i watched Fight Club, the idea of someone making their own soap is kind of scary. Then Maria Japonesa, it means Japanese Maria lol we call her that because she's Japanese and her names Maria...though that's kinda obvious is it not? Well yeah, she got me this necklace with a big L on it, for Lana, with a bunch of cubic zirconium diamonds lol, and my grammy's telling me how it's the latest trend in brazil. It's cute, so i'll try to wear it but it's just not my style. Then this friend of my mothers and best friend of my grammy's, got me this awesome scarf/tie thing, it's so rad. See, sometimes i feel like brazil is totally behind on stuff like fashion, but then other times like this, it becomes clear that that's not the case, plus, we have like, Rio fashion week and stuff too. But the point is this scarf/tie thing is awesome. It's made of tricot, and it's knitted and you put it around your neck so the ends of it are infront of you and then you take one of the ends and put it in a small hole in the other end, so it ends up looking like a tie/bowtie, it's really cute. Makes me feel all sophisticated haha, and classy, and like taking a book down to the pond during fall, sitting on a bench in black pointy toed boots, a warm thin sweater, a knee length winter coat, and a beanie or crochet beret lmao. I got this cool pen that has a scroll type of calendar in it, and i have a slight obsession with really cool pens haha so i liked it. My grammy got me this awesome blue, green and yellow soccer ball. When she handed it to me she said she didn't know if i could play with it, and it was so hard that i thought it was for display lol but then i squeezed it a bit and it is a soccer ball that you can play with lol. It's a brazilian soccer ball. Here the balls are all soft on the outside and stuff but in brazil you can break your toe kicking one haha, i love it. I can't wait to mess around with it. I'm still kind of wondering how she managed to fit a soccer ball in her luggage. My aunt selma (my grammy's sister, but like i've said for the 15th thousandth time, we call people uncle and aunt in brazil, even if they aren't) got me this key chain lol it's a little red and black glittered converse, and she got me chocolate and bananada which are these little bricks of i guess caramelized banana and sugar, they're good. There's more stuff but man, I'm tired of typing lol. What's funny is the grammy panties. Every time my grammy comes back from brazil she brings me underwear. Pairs and pairs of huge, grammy style, undies lmao. I say thank you and stuff but i never wear them...okay, maybe i have once or twice but that's just because they're comfy, don't judge me! 
lol just kidding, feel free to judge me

Anywho, grammy is a character. She hasn't stopped talking yet either. She's spoken about her little trips to the christo, and to her cousins house. She's gossiped about the wedding of her nephew and how his now wife was so rude and didn't come say hi to any of them. She's mentioned that she went to her doctor and the lady wants her to get checked out because there's a small bump on her breast, that's kinda scary, my mom is making an appoinment for her so we can get an answer as far as what it is, or if it's anything serious. She's also told us about how this one doctor in brazil said eating black pepper isn't good for you, so she and her friends threw all their black pepper away. Yes, she's dramatic like that. But dude, she talked so much that i've forgotten what the fuck she said. Now yall know where i get it from. 

*stares at box of chocolate sitting right next to her* haha *scoots away*, good thing i only like about 5 of the ones in there. What makes things worse is the way the light is hitting the box lmao it's making all the wrappers shine. It's obvious that the light is on the chocolate boxes team, and they're all working together against me lol. 

Oh! tomorrow morning at 9, BRAZIL VS USWNT - WATCH IT! It's going to be sick. I'm rooting for brazil haha, but i want it to be a good tight game too. I love my USWNT girls, i mean, i'm in love with like half of the team, but Brazil, that's were my hearts at. My grammy's coming over to watch it with me. I kind of don't like watching soccer with other people, it fustrates me, but yeah, I'm kind of looking forward to watching it with grammy so i can try making her approve and realize how good the girls are. She still thinks it's a mens sport. 

I like drinking in my shower...weird? Yeah, probably. I'll get a bottle of vitamin water, or a cold bottle of water, or maybe some tea, even coffee haha and drink it while I'm taking a shower. I have these tiny shelves in there, right in the corner, and the one highest up doesnt let anything get wet. My showerhead is also like a beach shower head so the water falls straight down, or however i position it, so it really never gets that top shelf wet, therefore i'll put whatever I'm drinking up there. Point is, i take really hot showers. My father doesn't have air conditioning at his house so i'll take really cold summer showers there, but here i'll take really hot showers because even though it's summer, this house is freezing. I was drinking an ice latte, but i was busy and just let it sit there for a while, and it got even colder cause of the ice melting. Then i decided to take a shower and took the latte with me. I had a really hot shower, and drank a really cold latte, at the same time, and now i know I'm going to be sick. To make things worse, this house is really cold, like probably at 65 degrees. My hair is still wet. My shirt is all wet too, because of my hair. I don't feel good lol. 

Sometimes I don't think people realize how stupid I am when I say I'm stupid. 

Don't try that at home.

OH. MY. GOSH. 

I am never baking a cake from scratch again. First i didn't have the stupid buttermilk, so i went on google and found out how to make my own, though it was probably wrong. Then where everything probably went wrong was when i was adding the chocolate powder to the dry mix, it said only 3/4'ths and haha i wanted to put more so i ended up putting 2 and a 1/2 cups lol. Then i was like "hmm, i guess since i put more chocolate, i'll need to put more flour", and from then on i put more than the measurment asked for with everything. Like i put way more vanilla extract, sugar, baking soda, baking powder, veggie oil, than i was supposed too. Then haha, i had never used an electric beater before, so when i turned it on lmao, yeah. . .i made a mess, that chose my shirt and laptop screen to land on. When i finally put everything in the oven i had chocolate and flour all over my arms and face. That was epic fail number one. 

Epic fail number two was my attempt at making frosting. It actually tasted alright but it wouldn't firm up into actual frosting, it was to watery, so i kept adding things, and by the time i finished, it was worse than when i started. I was going to throw it out, but i took the cake out of the oven first, and had my mom flip it onto the tray. Lmao, the inside wasn't ready, and the actual cake didn't taste like anything! I was so bummed. You can eat it, but it's like eating really bad food that your friend has cooked for you, that tastes like nothing, but you keep eating to be polite. Except it's worse than that. Way worse. So when i saw that that cake didn't work, i decided to make another. But this time it was the box kind. It was a brazilian orange cake, and Epic fail number 3 happened when i opened the package and threw it all into the frosting mixture i had made. I know that's impossibly stupid of me, but i just figured that since the frosting was so wet, it would be perfect to mix in with the dry mixture. So i beat that up real quick and now it's in the oven. 

My feet are hurting so bad. My mothers laughing, everytime she walks into the kitchen and looks at me, she just starts cracking up, and i won't be doing anything to make her laugh. I'm just like standing there holding a wisk and she busts out laughing. Whatever, my family always makes fun of me lol. Just now she came over and laughed cause I'm still in the kitchen (I even have a computer chair in here), and i offered her some of the cake that i could save from the one that wasn't ready yet, she even let it fall by accident haha so I'm like "geez mom *laughs* you don't have to drop it on the floor as an excuse to not eat it".  I'm so happy to be sitting. Before i started writing this i had to clean up all the mess that i made. I've never been so happy to have a dishwasher. We don't use it so much cause it's just me and my mom living here, but when the mess is this huge lol...I'm actually sitting infront of it and there's really hot air coming out and it's burning my arm *moves arm*, that's better. So, yeah, just waiting here for it to be ready. It actually smells like a cake haha which is good news because the last one didn't really smell like anything in particular. I think it might actually come out not too bad. The frosting that i had made and ended up using for this cake as a mixture, had bananas in it and i just stuck a toothpick in the cake to see how it was doing and the cake tastes like banana hehe. *sings* If your gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough. When you get knocked down you gotta get back up. I ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer but I know enough, to know, If your gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough. */sings*. I'm so bored lol. Everyones busy and I'm just here trying to bake. Anyone want to help out with the boredness SRF_for_LIFE @ msn, seriously. 

Okay! finally. I'm going to take it out of the oven. *crosses fingers* ...................SUCCESS!. No really dude, it's fully cooked and it smells so good, almost like banana bread. I havn't tasted it though *calls mom*, I'm going to make her try it too lol. Wow, it's actually....good! Lol. It tastes like banana bread too, not only smells like it. I guess those two whole bananas i put into the frosting definetly worked. My mom just asked me if i remember what i put in it and i didn't write it down. So i Epic fail at the first cake, and this one i do okay with and i forget what i added to it. I remember, chunky peanut butter, condensed milk, honey, cream cheese, butter, vanilla, sugar, and probably more stuff lol i can't remember. But it's really good, soft, and it has sprinkles all over the top haha that i had put on while the top of it was still baking. I feel somewhat accomplished :D. Because even though the dry mixture was packaged, the wet one was all my own, and i added more flour too. I took pictures, and i might even upload them tonight. 

Mother: It was really good.
Me: Yeah but i feel like it's not really mine.
Mother: You were the one to add all those other things.
Me: Yeah, i guess. I also added one more thing...
Mother: What?
Me: Love!
Mother: *laughs and shakes head*

yeah lol I'm corny, so what.


Cheerio.  

 I'm trying to break out of here lol, but no one wants to take me or pick me up. My mother has a garage, my father doesn't and his street is always hard to find a parking spot. My mom isn't doing anything at the moment, but she still doesn't want to take me, it's such bullshit. She told me to get my father to come pick me up when she knows that the chance of him finding a parking spot is 1 out of 100.  I just need a vacation lol even though i don't really do anything, i need to get away from this house and the interwebs. I want to watch the rest of the olympics with my dad, sit out side on the backyard porch feeding my squirrel friend, read the book that I started about a month ago but have been to disctracted to read and then get started on mansfield park, cuddle with my doggie on the couch, play my fathers war games lol and drink all of his earl grey and english breakfast tea's, annoy my cat max. . .yeah, i want to go. The best part is no girl drama. I'll be in a house with my father and gramps, i'll only see my dad when he comes home from work at 3, and my gramps is usually sitting outside talking to the neighbors all day, or reading the newspapers on the back yard porch, so I'm all alone for a couple of hours. Whenever i need to chill, and take some time off from life, i go there. It's to me the same as cutting up all your credit cards and ID's and moving to a small coastal town. Geez, i just met another hot girl with blue eyes, i. need. to. get. out. of. here. I need to focus on so much more right now.

My grammy comes back next week i think. She's always traveling back and forth from here to brazil. She'll spend about 8 months here, and then go back for 3 months, and then come back here for 8 more months, it's pretty random sometimes but she had to go because of a wedding. My fathers house is a mess right now, i just know it. It's hard having a cat, a dog, now a bird, and two lazy men in a house all alone, the place turns into a frat house. It shouldn't be as bad because she's only been gone for 3 months but, when she's gone for more than that, it gets really bad. I kinda miss her, she annoys the crap outta me for the most part because she's naggy and one of those people that argues even when they're wrong. Basically she's just like my mother, no wonder they're such good friends. But, i do miss her. Today would be one of those days where we'd paint a little. Or she'd beg me too play mario kart with her.

Anyway, my mom made egg rolls haha. They were so good. And i feel like making a mess, so I'm going to go try making some different ones, with like different fillings. Maybe i can make a pb and j one lol. Good thing i eat a lot of fruit and veggies haha. But i really need to start cutting out all the other junk, i hardly eat that stuff so cutting it out won't be that hard. The next time i'll eat something sweet will probably be my birthday in september. I also need to figure out what i want for it. I've been looking into camera's but i have no idea which one to choose. I love my underwater camera, but i want a slr, and i have no idea where to start. I think i might go ask in the photography communities. 

Oh and haha. My mom and i were play fighting in the kitchen and i did a roundhouse kick on her but like, didn't hit her head or anything, so then she tries doing one on me and she's way shorter than me too and when she does the kick, she totaly hits my hand lol. It hurt. 

Okay, I'm going to go update my itunes and listen to some dashboard while causing chaos in the kitchen. Cross your fingers that i don't burn myself, or the house down.

 I just saw my stepfather through one of the lobsters into the boiling water. . .and I'm actually crying a bit. It just sucks cause the poor little guy wasn't bothering anyone on the sea floor and we go over, pick them out and throw them in huge cramped tanks where people then go pick them out and eat them. They're all making fun of me for crying over it but, I'm not like crying crying, I just teared up a tad, cause it's sad. In one quick instant it died. It was living and then boom, it's dead. I don't like that. Lobster tastes really good but i can go with out it, i'd rather go without it. I'd rather go without meat too, but that's kinda hard to do at the moment. Ever since i saw this music video for Float On by Modest Mouse, where a bunch of little sheep go into the slaughterhouse, I've wanted to stop eating meat. It's a really sad video, I havn't watched it since i was probably 13/14, i think that's when it came out, but man, i would cry watching it so at one point i refused to listen to it. And that's carried on to today, there are still songs that i can't listen to because of the lyrics. When i was younger i'd cry watching movies like All Dogs Go To Heaven lol, I wouldn't cry when a main character died in a movie but I'd cry if the dog or cat did haha. It just sucks how many cows and chickens die so you can have your instant gratification at burger king. At least back in the day people would recognize that they were taking the life of an animal, instead of just killing without a care or guilt. I make my mom buy organic stuff, like good quality meat from california or vermont that are treated well and fed well and have plenty of room to run in the fields, but it still makes me feel bad. I think it's because like in the video with the sheep, they didn't know what waited for them at the end of the line. Like my stepfather putting the lobster in the boiling water, it didn't know that it would die. And he said it was just nature, and that you eat to survive, but i don't see lions chasing their food for fun or because they're bored.